Jesus

K: "Tom is Christian, he believes in God. I wonder if he believes in Jesus? Do all Christians believe in Jesus?"

L: "Yes, otherwise, they're called Jews."


Tipi Slang

K: "It was just straight Hochung."


Gazpacho
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L: "What's gazpacho?"

K: "It's like a cold tomato soup."

L: "You're kidding. I read the ingredients and it said tomato, cilantro, and salt. And I thought to myself... and gazpacho."

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Experiments
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L: "I want more surface area of your body against my body, okay, I'll lay on my stomach and then you lay on my back. Oh, that will hurt your ribs, okay, I'll lay on my stomach and you lay your back on my back."

K: "This feels ridiculous."

L: "Come on Katie! Everything you like in this world started off this way - because someone was like, you know what might be interesting? and then they tried something that felt ridiculous."

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Surprises
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L: "What if I were to lay on my stomach and you were to lay your whole body on mine so I get more surface area?"

K: "We literally tried this."

L: "What!? NO WAY!"

K: "Yup, in Thailand, I wrote it down in a note."


It's what it looks like
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L: "People look at me like, what are you doing? It's exactly what it looks like people, I'm touching my balls."


The Trailer Park Business
‍
L: "My uncles told me, the way you run a trailer park is by letting people leave their trailer on their property when they leave. Then, you can rent it out to the next guy. And the more people come and leave their trailers, the more your business grows.

K: "But why would people leave their trailer, isn't that like their home?"

L: "Everyone in a trailer park is permanently living a temporary lifestyle."


Dogs and Shoes

L: "I never saw dogs with shoes until I got to NYC."

K: "So you're telling me dogs just get muddy where you're from?"


Too High to Get Married

L: "I took mushrooms to think about marriage, but I got so high I couldn't remember who was trying to marry who."


How to Cash a Check

L: *Holding up a check* - "how do I get money off this piece paper until my bank account?"


Duck Confit

Waiter: "The duck confit is very good, I recommend it."

L: "Oh, we don't duck, they're very cute. We're going to get them for our farm."


Dirty dishes
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L: "What are you doing?"

K: "Putting my plate in dishwasher."

L: "Oh no, you don't need to do that here. In this house, we put dirty dishes in the sink."


Sequoia Cones

Flight attendant: "In my 30 years as a flight attendant, I have never seen someone with pine cones on a flight."

L: "They're sequoia cones."


Bar mitzvahs

L: "So the bar mitzvah is after they get their dick cut off right?"

K: "WHAT?!"

L: "Its like the ceremony where a boy becomes a man in Jewish culture after they get their dick cut off right?"

K: "You gotta be fucking kidding me, no, they get circumcised as babies not 13 years old, you think they were getting their dicks chopped off then throwing a huge party afterwards?!"

L: "I mean, it certainly sounded weird to me too but you know, different strokes for different folks"


Lucas' Uncle

Katie to Lucas' uncle: "I just love your cowboy hat & cowboy boots, how festive and fun!"

L: "Katie, you can't keep telling people how festive and fun their cowboy hat looks, it's not a costume down here it's a lifestyle."


Malibu
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L: "Malibu? that's also an animal, it's like a type of deer too?"

K: "No, not at a Malibu, you must be thinking of a caribou, Malibu is a place."

L: "Oh right. Malibu is a jungle, right?"


Boobs

L: "Are you ever jealous of your boobs?"
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Fucked up my lifestyle

K: "You're fucking up my lifestyle. You woke me up at 2am and we've been talking for hours."

L: "You're fucking up my lifestyle."

K: "Really!?"

L"I would be asleep by now if I hadn't woken you up."


How to be Cool

L: "I've actually taken notes on how to be cool. Turns out, it doesn't get you any closer."

K: "You're the only person I've dated who I never thought for a second is cooler than me."


Lucas' Family

L: "No, Cody is the boyfriend. Tucker is the dog."


Anal Sex

K: "The problem is the guys who want to have anal sex with you are never the guys you want to have anal sex with."


Babies

L: "I should read a book, but - how do babies work... biologically?"
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Botox

K: "Almost nothing makes me as happy as fresh botox."

L: "That's the thing for your butt right?"

K: "WHAT?"

L: "It makes your butt bigger?"

K: "What!? no! it's a toxin from mold you inject in your face that paralyzes your muscles."

L: "Are you fucking with me."

Water Filter
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L: "We should buy a water filter."

K: "Lucas, now that we're going to be living together, we can't just be buying stupid ugly things!"