As the clock strikes 11:59
Katie announces “sshhh! It's bedtime!”
But her darling Lucas doesn't listen
Instead, he rolls around the bed like a rambunctious kitten

He pleads and cries for five minutes more
“Oh please my dear Katie, you and I both know sleep’s such a bore!”
He puts his hands beneath the covers and touches Katie’s butt
She cries out "it's forty past midnight you must stop this at once!"  

But Lucas doesn't stop in fact he carries on more
telling jokes, his deepest humiliations, fears, and triumphs
in The Canon of Lucas, Unabridged - the Complete Lore  

as the sun rises outside and the birds start to sing
Lucas closes his eyes and lays down in bed
but not even 5 minutes later Kristian calls
from down at the office where he’s losing his head  

"Lucas! Where are you?! The sheep just arrived
you better come quick,
they got a phone call, there's a raise at Hyperliquid
they may abandon ship!" 

Lucas knows how sheep work
they're easily distracted and bound to follow the crowd
if one too many sheep go to Hyperliquid
they will all exit the office in a white wooly cloud  

worse if they hear a friend gave one million, they will jump to offer two
without even verifying whether the numbers are true!
before you know it the sheep will give all their money away
without ever learning about Eulith's tokens newly minted today!  

Lucas has no time to dilly dally
he must get to them fast
he has to show them the numbers
he has to do the math   

Lucas jumps out of bed, putting his shoes on his feet, & his hat on his head
with unprecedented speed he bicycles down to world trade four
where out of breath and a bit smelly he opens the door 

once inside the building the staff snickers
and the suits inside the elevator laugh
Lucas glares at them wondering what now you asshats?  

Then, Lucas brings his palm to his face,
Feeling like a complete embarrassment and an utter disgrace
He realizes he's still wearing last night’s pajamas inside the workplace! 

He steps into the office a bit self-conscious and says:  

"excuse my appearance dear gentlemen, no need to poke fun
I think we can agree,
this is an excusable offense if there ever was one” 

next, Lucas tries to muster the energy needed to do the math
But in his attempts to arrive at one billion he keep falling flat! 

"okay, well just carry the six, then seven, over one, and four"
but Lucas continues to arrive at nine hundred ninety nine point
nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine
never a penny more  

the sheep at the table scratch their heads and wait with bated breath
you see, they don’t have much intellectual depth
they can't think for themselves or see
that between them they probably have a penny or three 

then a phone buzzes and the animals rise in a simultaneous leap
its an excitable pronouncement from a fellow sheep
"Hyperliquid has difi, alpha, and tokens, you better come quick”
they all file out as one sheep mutters some excuse to Lucas about feeling sick     
‍
“Just one more minute it’s almost complete!”

Cries Lucas never one to admit his defeat
A single sheep looks over his shoulder and says with a sneer
"unfortunately, if you're penny shy of a billion our work is done here,
good day sir, we quite like your pajamas, call us next year" 

defeated, discouraged, and most of all sleepy
Lucas lay on his office floor feeling a wee bit weepy,
if only he listened to Katie, if only he hadn't refused his bedtime
he would have the money from the sheep! it would be so sublime!  

Lucas falls into a deep sleep beneath his desk and
in his dreams the numbers come to him so fractalesque
he wakes from his slumber and writes them all down,
he arrives at one billion then cries feeling like a sad, silly clown  

fortunately for Lucas, the writer of this poem is a merciful soul,
And she invites a sheep to the office as they’re already out for a stroll  

"hi, I think I forgot my phone,"
says the sheep with a knock at the door
"its underneath the paper"
responds Lucas still stuck to the floor  

the sheep reaches for his phone when
a number written on the paper stops him in its tracks
"Say is that one billion? Did you finally do the math?" 

"yes," says a regretful Lucas
"allI needed was some sleep,
the thing is I stayed up hours past my bedtime
and this morning I couldn't think," 

"I see," says the sheep with newfound empathy,
for Lucas who lies on the floor with extreme lethargy  
as the sheep stares at Lucas his heart starts to sink
after all he knows a thing or two about how hard it is to think 

"Well, I might have a million left over from Hyperliquid maybe two,
if you can promise to go to bed on time I will give it you" 
"Really?" asks Lucas, peeking his head out from under his desk,
"Say, how about five? If you give me five,
I'll promise to get some rest

If you give me five I’ll go to bed at lights out
And when the clock strikes midnight I’ll stop running my mouth”  

and so the sheep calls his friends and tells them about the math
and they get to the office in no time flat
And between them they write several big checks
that gets them to five and assures Lucas' commitment to rest  

When Lucas arrives home after his rollercoaster of a day
he’s desperate to speak to Katie for there's something he must say 

"Katie, I'm so sorry for keeping us awake for so long,
bed time is important you were right and I was wrong," 

"it's okay Lucas, it looks like you've had quite the day,
here, have a breast"
‍
Says Katie, a merciful soul lifting her shirt and
Laying Lucas’ head against her soft, sweet chest  

"Katie, I promise to always go to bed on time
I’m so lucky, I can’t believe I get to call you mine
After all you’re so much more responsible than me
I’ll see to it I'll go to bed whenever you decree”  

And Lucas kept his word going to bed on time from here on after,
when the clock strikes 11:59 with no if and or buts he ceases all chatter.